Assalamualaikum and hi <3

It's already 2023 and glad that i didn't forget that this online diary existed hehehe. 

    Sepanjang hidup aku kan, love language aku memang receiving gifts. Memang daripada kecil macam tu. Birthdays are the most important event to me. Kadang tu sebulan sebelum birthday aku atau birthday kawan2 rapat aku, aku dah excited gila! Aku akan fikir nak bagi hadiah apa, apa yang paling ikhlas daripada hati, ucapan apa yang betul2 akan buat dia happy. Dan aku serius akan seronok sangat sebab membayangkan ekspresi diorang bila dapat hadiah daripada aku. Pastu segala benda macam tiket wayang, gelang sementara kertas yang diberi kalau masuk upside down museum ke, surat kawan2 aku bagi waktu kelas sebab nak pinjam pape, atau surat2 minta maaf, surat gaduh, surat berbaik, semua aku akan simpan dalam kotak. Ada lagi tau kotak tu. Kalau memori tu aku hargai sangat2, aku akan simpan barang2 tu, walaupun barang tu nampak macam tak penting dan kadang nampak macam boleh buang dalam tong sampah je hahahah btw i'm not a hoarder ya. Aku simpan barang2 tu dengan cantik dan organised.

    Tapi akhir2 ni, excitement in gift giving tu macam berkurangan. I don't feel like I put 100% of my heart like before. Tapi aku still fikir pasal hadiah a month before their birthdays hahahah. Pastu aku pun retake la love language test tu. Receiving gifts still nombor satu tapi 30% je! Dulu lebih 50% la. After that, quality time. Haa sekarang memang aku rasa macam my quality time is showing tau.

    I love spending quality time with my family, my friends. Kalau boleh tak tengok fon. Mungkin I developed this habis ever since knowing Rifa'i. Hahahaha. Pastu selalu ajak kawan2 keluar jalan2 sebab nak spend time together. That thing really makes me happy now. Kalau aku dah dinner, tapi kawan aku ajak keluar, aku still nak ikut weh sebab aku suka lepak, suka suka suka. Kalau dengan family, aku dah start rasa annoyed sebab Syahmi selalu main roblox dalam iPad sampai dia dah jarang peluk aku! Pastu dia jarang gak main real things dengan aku macam teka teki ke, apa-apa jelah. Bila aku tanya kawan aku pun, kawan2 aku teka love language aku quality time hahaha. Dulu memang bagi surat bertulis ni one of my favourite thing to do laa. Tapi birthday kawan aku baru2 ni, aku bagi hadiah je, takde ucapan pun :( It doesn't seem very special kalau takde ucapan. But idk what to write there and i don't want to write things without being sincere.

    Tapi one thing to be sure, my act of service paling bawahh sekali XD Kenapa? Sebab kalau my friends macam in need of help tapi subtle (kiranya macam benda2 kecil macam barang dia banyak), i won't notice that the person needs help hshshshs that's so bad of me I know. Kiranya I won't offer myself to help la tapi kalau diorang minta, i'm fine with helping. Macam tu la.

    Anyway, I just think that I'm just growing up. It's a natural part of growing up. Bukan nak associate receiving gifts dengan youngsters tapi I just want to highlight that people change. Mungkin ada orang dulu love language dia quality time tapi sekarang jadi receiving gifts ke.

   Nothing much pun untuk diceritakan. Cumanya saje cerita pasal ni sebab rasa macam menarik untuk bagitahu that I've changed. A lot of things changed. Let's hope it's for the better, not for the worst.

    Life update: My previous post is sooo sad. But guess what? I'm now better, emotionally and physically. Tapi physically tu walaupun makin cantik (ceh) tapi makin berisi hahahahah. I've got new friends, boleh study sama2, gelak sama2. Kesimpulannya I feel better la sekarang. Ok tu je. Exam dah dekat ni. Doakan ya! 

    I'm so bad at writing. So forgive me kalau ayat2 dalam ni sangat la tak puitis hahaha. Bye!